How to Encourage Imitation When Your Child Is Reluctant

Full transcript

Hi everybody, I'm Nicole Kolenda: speech-language pathologist, mom, mentor, supervisor, marathon runner, and your voice for possibility. Today's video will be quick, and again, it's coming to you from the middle of a pandemic.

The question I'm getting from parents right now, whose kids are getting speech therapy, is, "My child won't even imitate right now. How is he or she going to learn if he's not even willing to try to imitate what we're asking him to?" It's a common question and a common concern. For many children, especially those with speech sound disorders, imitation is really challenging.

Why imitation is hard

What we know is that we need that imitation for the child to begin to practice new targets, start feeling comfortable with speech output, and start feeling comfortable as a verbal communicator. But in many instances, children are aware of the challenges they're having, and they are anxious. Having them imitate puts them on the spot. So here are a couple of things we can do to make our children feel more comfortable.

Take the pressure off

The first thing I would tell you to do in the moment is take the expectation of your child imitating you off the table. What I see is parents double down, triple down: "Just a chair. You could say chair. You said it yesterday." And then maybe there's an aunt or an uncle involved, and it just becomes more and more anxiety provoking for the child.

So let's take the expectation off the table for the time being. It will be put back on the table shortly, but let's ease the child's concerns, ease your own issues with this, and just expect that this is something you're going to have to work toward.

Say it together

Okay, so the first thing I would do is encourage your child to look directly at you and your lips. Let's say the target word is "ball." You would say, "Honey, take a look at me. Take a look at Mommy's lips. Ball." We know that orienting the child to the mouth of the person who is speaking is really crucial and beneficial to them producing the target on their own.

Then I would encourage the child to say the word with you. This is called simultaneous production. You would say, "Look at me. Let's say this together." Then I would take a deep breath: "Ball." I would hold that initial configuration for just a little bit. Like you saw what I just did, I held the "b" sound: "Ball." This way the child is set up to do it with you.

It might seem really simple, but you'd be surprised how much more apt they are to do a simultaneous production than strict imitation. And then you can segue that into imitation, or solo production.

Choose verbs, not nouns

The one thing I want you to be mindful of, the mistake I see all the time, is that parents just want the child to say random nouns: "Say flour. Say tree." I want you to think in terms of verbs and not nouns, because verbs are meaningful to a child. Think in terms of action words, or early prepositions: "in," "on," "up." These are the words that are going to get them what they want. They're also words you can very easily put into two-word utterances: "ball up," "more cookie."

Practice in an activity

The other thing to think about, when you want your child to practice these target words, is that it's so much better to do it in an activity. Let's say the target is "ball." Playing with a toy or game that has balls is going to be super helpful, because the language learning becomes that much more salient.

As the child is playing with this game and you're having them look at you, maybe it's their turn with the ball. You're holding the ball right here, and you could say, "Honey, try to say it with Mommy." Then it just becomes a much more enjoyable experience, and one where you can really ensure that your child is going to try and is going to learn.

Then I would take out the simultaneous production and say, "Can you say that on your own, without Mommy? Can you try it one more time without Mommy doing it with you?" And then they'll try, and you can reinforce them and give them that ball.

Set up reinforcement

That's going to be critical with many kids: how are you setting up reinforcement? How are they getting rewarded for trying something that is challenging for them? If you do it during a game, the reward is inherent in the game, so I always like that as well.

Anyway, thank you for listening. I'm Nicole, your voice for possibility. Today we talked about a simple way you can get your child to produce words at home when they are reluctant to imitate. Thanks, take care.